all my "i can fix him" energy comes from being the quiet girl all the teachers would sit bad boys next to in class.
Guys 2014 is in two months
imagine reading a fic based on a character you play and there’s a common recurrence of your lips being chapped. id be so sick
uterus: Guurl, you’re ❌NOT❌ pregnant🎉💃
me hunched over in agony: This… could have been… an email
Ohhhhhj so the childhood self doesn't disappear forever they come back as a ghost when you are struggling to break into adulthood and sit with you during your lunch break so you're not alone. Alright
“ao3 should have an algorithm” ao3 should continue only giving me exactly what I ask for which happens because I know how to use the search, sort, and filter functions
the biggest problem with writing fantasy in english is that there's really no alternate universe phrasing that carries the exact tone and context to the reader as "jesus fucking christ"
You tell the pizza guy you don't have any money and want to pay in pussy and he just breaks down crying. You were his thirteenth job of the day, after also doing lyft and Doordarsh and task rabbit, and honestly like, the sentiment is nice, he WOULD like some intimacy (he's so tired by the end of the day, he can't even masturbate and anyways he feels so disconnected from his body, it's like a tool for capitalism and he struggles to view it as something capable of pleasure) but honestly, if you could PLEASE just give him $20 so he can afford something off the value menu at McDonald's. And you feel so miserable, like damn, you and the pizza guy end up splitting the pizza and just talking, and he tells you about his lifelong dream of taking up scuba diving and you tell him about your little etsy business that you do on top of your office job, and for a moment the human connection is enough for the both of you. Yall still fuck. Five stars, delivery driver was considerate, flexible and was open to pegging.
William Gibson could have written this in 1990.
So my dad gambles quite a bit
And he’s pretty good at it, so he’s a diamond-level guest at all the harrahs casinos, meaning they always comp his room and meals. My mom has a second job with her friend’s modeling company, and they were working a banquet in Vegas. My moms main job is as a flight attendant though, so we fly free. So my dad just took off to Vegas the night of my moms job, and when they were done, he took her and all her model friends (7 of them) to a fancy-ass restaurant. He’s friends with one of the waiters there just from visiting so often, but they don’t know much about my dads life/job/whatever. So when my dad shows up with a bunch of models, the waiter comes up and he’s like “ok dude spill. what do you do? what’s your job?” And my dads like “it’s a mystery” because he’s a mailman
Fallout: New Vegas (2010)